[千春] Chiharu (chiharu) wrote in exochocolate,
[千春] Chiharu

WE ARE ONE! EXO Pimp Post pt 2


EXO-M; Kris, Chen, Lu Han, Xiumin, Tao, Lay

The Mandarin speaking subgroup of EXO, EXO-M may appear mellower in comparison to K. However, don’t be fooled by their initially normal appearances.

Kris and Lay trained for the longest period and are well acquainted from their trainee days. Lu Han joined 1.5 years pre-debut and appears to be a social butterfly in general; everyone loves him and Suho even claimed to have fallen in love with Lu Han at first sight. Kris, Lu Han, and Lay are M’s Chinese trio and always seem to share some sort of private joke. Except for when Lu Han and Yixing are staring into space during interviews, leaving Kris to fend off all the questions by himself. Poor Dui Zhang. Tao joined in 2010 and have latched onto Kris ever since, following Dui Zhang around like a lost puppy. In a complete n00bish turn of events that will later serve as fodder for many interviews to come, Tao accidentally called Xiumin “Oppa" the first time he found Xiumin in a rehearsal room. Tao blames it on the Korean dramas he used to watch, namely My Girlfriend is a Gumiho. And then we have Chen, the last to be assigned to EXO-M after placing in SM’s Everysing audition in 2011, who is very generous with his hugs and continues to display snark unexpected from such a quiet looking boy.

“Roll Like a Buffalo" Dui Zhang Kris
Born Li Jiaheng (李嘉恒) Nov 6th, 1990
队长 (Dui zhang)/ Li Jiaheng(李嘉恒)/ Kevin Li/ Wu Fan (吴凡)/ Wu YiFan/ Kris Wu

Kris, the almighty leader (Dui Zhang) of EXO-M, remains shrouded in mystery. Kris allegedly joined SM in 2007 and lived in Canada for an undisclosed period of time prior to his casting. Thus, he is fluent in English, Mandarin, Korean, and Cantonese. Do not make the mistake of fangirling within his vicinity since he understands all the languages. I’M LOOKING AT YOU, GIRLS WHO RAN INTO EXO AT DISNEY. While Suho is the mother hen who tries to round everyone up, Kris is ultimately the one who goes, “Get in the fucking car, NOW." It is also confirmed that Kris also answers to “Dui Zhang" and “Heyo waddup KREASE." At SMTOWN LA 2012, he even picked up a fan’s HEY YO WADUP KRIS sign, only to discard it back into the crowd later. RUDE, KRIS.

Dui Zhang has been the topic of many discussions due to his questionable dancing skills. Look at him SWIM INTO THE FRONT of the History dance video at 2:41. Here are some of his other quality dance moves captured on film. He is indeed fly like a G6. Speaking of this song, fandom also has another flawless rendition of Like A Krisus.

Kris is extremely hard to read, as his facial expressions have only gotten progressively more and more intimidating. This could be due to the fact that he must maintain unchanging facial expressions during his rigorous beauty regiment. Lay has disclosed on public television that Kris is extremely high maintenance and spends hours at night applying facial creams and products. Kris’s expression as he listens to Lay out his beauty secrets promises great pain to come.

  • Kris was allegedly the captain of his middle school basketball team in China.

  • It has been confirmed that Kris’s original surname was Li. Amber of f(x) even cite him as K.Li on her thank you note in Pinnochio. While in middle school, his name was 李嘉恒 and his birthday was listed as November 1. THE LIST OF QUESTIONS WHEN IT COMES TO 队长 IS NEVERENDING.

  • Kris is good friends with f(x)’s Amber and Super Junior-M’s Henry

  • Dui Zhang babies Tao

  • Kris once admitted that he didn’t call home at all during Chinese New Years one year. He was afraid that if he heard his family’s voice, he’d be so homesick that he would give up on training and go home for good.

  • Chinese fans also call Kris 牛仔哥 = "niú zǎi gē" = Denim Older Brother/ Denim Oppa. On multiple occasions, Kris has acknowledged this as his nickname because Kris wears a denim shirt in this pre-debut fancam. At the time, fans didn't know his name, so they called him Denim Oppa. Niu Zai also means cowboy, but in this context they are talking about the denim that Kris was wearing.

  • Apparently Kris’s handwriting is so atrocious that his baidu bar is considering buying him dictionaries and writing guides in all three languages

  • Sometimes Kris breaks his perpetually annoyed expressions to be a fly mofo

  • According to fandom myths, a fan once tripped at the airport and Kris helped steady her. This fan claimed that Kris smelled of Potpourri. WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR CONFIRMATION ON THIS FACT.

  • Kris is a dragon and he can fly, but he’ll have to show you “next time."

“Please Control Your Students” Lu Han
Born Lu Han (鹿晗) April 20, 1990

Lu Han, the babyface angel of EXO-M, was the second member to be revealed. Despite his cherubic appearance, he is actually the second oldest out of EXO. Lu Han originally auditioned for JYPE in 2010, but failed to enter the company and was later scouted by SM agents while studying Korean at Yonsei University in 2010. Lu Han seems to always maintain a perpetually calm and serene expression, although pre-debut selcas suggest a more interesting character underneath this facade. Once, an interviewer suggested that Lu Han looks like the calmest member with the best temper. YIXING’S FACE SUGGESTED OTHERWISE.

As the resident bicycle of this group of aliens, Lu Han never fails to let his pimp ship fly high as he naturally go from making googly eyes at Sehun to couple hearts with Xiumin to matching outfits/accessories with Lay when they decide to grace the undeserving streets of Korea with their airheaded perfection.

After the second teaser was revealed, fans dug up some pre-existing covers Lu Han recorded pre-debut. Just when fandom had deemed Lu Han as another pretty face, we were pleasantly surprised to learn that Lu Han is actually impressive at dancing and a commendable singer. He does, however, make terribly pained faces while singing baby don’t cry. DO YOU HAVE A LOT OF FEELS, LU HAN?

The issue with stanning Lu Han is that he’s such a hard person to quantify. While all idols put on a degree of professional facade, Lu Han seems to be so well guarded that it’s hard to peel away all these complex layers to understand the real boy underneath. Lu Han appears so detached from the person he was pre-debut that it’s very hard to read him. Ex classmates and older friends have all stated that he was an interesting character who excelled at everything. Nowadays, he simply seems mellow. I get the feeling that Lu Han only ever says half of what he means, like there’s a whole world of meaning behind his actions and words that are left for us to interpret. Exhibit A: Saying “但如果有什么难办的事, 就告诉哥, 哥帮你解决/If there’s anything troubling you, just tell Ge, and I will take care of it for you” and “Just take care of your health. That’s all” on Sehun’s bday message. Exhibit B: Absolutely refusing to let Lay get hit on the head by a pot as a punishment on a variety show. Lu Han was so suddenly concerned that he sprang forward and tried to pull Lay back. Although Lu Han’s job is to maintain a porcelain, almost fragile image, both Kris and Lay have stated that Lu Han is actually very manly. Lu Han once insisted on taking Lay to the hospital after Lay injured himself during dance practice.

Even so, he occasionally lets his mean streak appear, pushing Lay out of hiding and trying to choke Chen with the string of his Perry The Platypus Hat at Disney. We hope Lu Han eventually stops hiding his WEIRD and let it out in full force. OR. JUST. IGNORE ALL THE META VOMIT ABOVE AND JUST ENJOY HIS FLAWLESS PERFECTION.

  • Lu Han was a “handsome hunk" during his high school days. According to rumors, Lu Han was highly skilled at soccer and the recipient of many female students’ affection.

  • Lu Han does not hide the fact that he is a hardcore fanboy of his TVXQ! seniors, namely leader-shi U-Know Yunho himself. It was also rumored that in high school, Lu Han had a female posse, with whom he skipped class with just to fanboy over DBSK.

  • Lu Han’s name means “deer of the dawn" and fandom affectionately nicknamed him LuLu, which translates to “little deer"

  • Lu Han is completely incapable of remembering everyone’s stage names during interviews. We’re keeping count on how many times he’s slipped up and called people by their actual names.

  • A group of fans once skipped class back to back just to see Lu Han at EXO’s fansign. On the way there, they ran into their homeroom teacher, who followed them to the fansign and jokingly asked Lu Han to take responsibility. Lu Han just laughed and told the teacher to control her students.

  • Lu Han totally knows how to get dem ass.

“I’m a Unicorn" Lay
Born Zhang Yixing ( 张艺兴) Oct 7, 1991

Zhang Yixing (张艺兴/张艺兴), also known as EXO-M’s cutest healing abusive unicorn and King of Forgetfulness, is from Hunan, Changsha (湖南,长沙, home to Hunan TV), and is the true Dance Machine of EXO-M (sorry chenchen)! Don’t let him fool you with his blank stare and sparse words during those debut days, Yixing is anything but shy and abashed. First introduced as part of SMTOWN as That Random Hot Chinese Trainee who was Jonghyun’s replacement dancer during the SHINee World First Concert, Yixing first stepped onto the stage at the age of 9, and by the time he’d disappeared and reappeared as an SM trainee in 2008, had accumulated quite the experience in showbiz already. It feels like I could write an entire pimp post just based on his predebut activities...oh wait because I already have! Our resident songwriter with questionable English, Yixing also managed to capture countless’ girls hearts (AND BROKE MINE SEVERAL TIMES OVER) with his beautiful guitar playing and proof that he can still sing even after his voice broke...even if he thinks it doesn’t sound as good as it used to.

Yixing may come off as quiet at first, but his bandmates unanimously voted him the funniest member and Lu Han says even though he looks shy, he actually talks quite a lot. Over the few short weeks of debut, Yixing has graduated from causing his fans despair by never looking at the camera (there's a reason I have files titled 'YIXINGLOOKSATCAMERA') to making hearts and showing off his dimple. Also, he is a unicorn. Or a rabbit. Take your pick. Oh have I mentioned yet that he's an abusive unicorn? He's great. Kris has said that when he first met Yixing, he found him precious, cute, and very hard-working, practicing long beyond the required hours for a trainee. He's an incredibly playful, polite child who likes eating snacks and will offer his jacket to their coordi-noona because she's cold (only to have Kris take it...) or his chair on stage (even if there's actually enough for everyone) or his fork to the MC because she doesn't have one (but really, he likes eating snacks. a lot.) But no matter what he's like off stage, on stage, he's a different story. Yixing is fucking fierce on stage, and both he and the members agree that he's like a different person once the music starts. Maybe once upon a time he couldn't dance, but now, he is a joy to watch.

  • Yixing became a trainee in 2008. He was also the first Chinese trainee Kris met, and fell in love with Lu Han on first sight became close with Lu Han very quickly, after being the first to greet him as well.

  • His most common nicknames are 蛋蛋/蛋哥 (little egg/egg gege) and 兴坨 (xingtuo). "坨" is because he's cute! and from Changsha. As for 蛋蛋...Well, I don't think anyone's quite sure, but between his stage name and...

  • Let's just say the king of forgetfulness forgot a letter once upon a time and his friend was quick to point it out. "你蛋疼不~?" aka "are you retarded", or literally........."do your balls hurt?" WHAT CAN I SAY, YIXING AND LU HAN HAVE THE TRUE BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP. (Note, Lu Han only joined in 2010).

  • Once upon a time he forgot how to say 本土组合 and blanked out on live broadcast. For a very long time. Before passing the mic to 队长. It's okay, I don't blame him. Specific phrases are hard to remember. BUT CAN'T YOU REMEMBER YOUR OWN GROUP NAME AND NAME AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF SMOOTHLY JUST ONCE? D:

  • Yixing is really incredibly kind, and is just a good person through and through. Some of the bracelets he's constantly seen wearing are fan gifts, and he almost never takes them off. When a fan met him to deliver birthday things to him when he was still a trainee, Yixing waited for her and tried to offer to buy her a bottled drink. He also asked once, in that lull between his whirlwind 明星学院/Star Academy and SM trainee days, "why do you support me?" - the answer is so naturally "because you're worth supporting."

  • He's kind of a Hunan TV kid! Which is why the hosts of Happy Camp were gleeful about his variety talents!

  • While he's usually good at hosting, sometimes, he can't help cracking up. Lu Han, you're not helping!

Chen “Mine!"
Born Kim Jongdae (김종대,金钟大) Sept 21, 1992

Chen, the powerhouse vocal of EXO-M and arguably the best singer in EXO, was the fourth member to be formally introduced through SM’s SMTOWN Orchestra Special on SBS’s Gaeyo Daejun in Dec 2011. Until the release of “What is Love," it had been speculated that Chen was actually Chinese. However, Chen is most definitely Korean, as seen from his perpetually confused expression during EXO-M’s earlier interviews. The language barrier, however, is only a minor setback, as Chen began displaying an unprecedented amount of snark, fighting Kris for his imaginary girlfriend and proclaiming himself as “Dancing Machine Jongdae" when he, in fact, cannot dance. Exhibit B: here. Pre-debut photos of Chen may also provide more insight on the boy behind the ?___? face.

  • Chen has affectionately been dubbed as Chenchen by Kris and Chengzi (橙子/orange) by Chinese fans.

  • Orange seems extremely grateful to Suho for taking care of him. This makes sense because Suho trained the longest (7 years) with SM while Chen and Tao trained for the shortest amount of time pre-debut.

  • Tao once mentioned that Chen is so diligent about everything he does. Chen makes sincere eye contact while speaking to people, even if the interviewers can’t understand his Korean

  • Chenchen is surprisingly good at hanyu pinyin/romanized Chinese! He’s completely capable of answering interview questions with short pinyin and even includes the right tones on top! JUST LIKE AN ELEMENTARY STUDENT LEARNING PINYIN FOR THE FIRST TIME. So precious.


  • Has admitted to being extremely stubborn and will take whatever he wants, even if it’s Dui Zhang’s girl

  • During his introductions at SMTOWN Taiwan, Chengzi started reciting random passages from his Chinese book!

“Hello, I am EXO-M’s kungfu panda" Tao
Born Huang Zitao (黄子韬) May 2, 1993

Tao (also affectionately known as Taozi 桃子(peach)) is the physical representation of the phrase: “don’t judge a book by its cover." Introduced in teaser 3 on December 27, 2011, Tao was first portrayed as a badass wushu master of sorts, but this reputation was quickly tarnished at their first showcase in Korea where he aegyo-ed better than Sehun and Kai combined. He is also prone to a lot of shy giggling. During performances however, Tao portrays a different side to him. He was the third member to be unveiled, but is also one of the later members to have joined the company, auditioning in 2010 (audition clip thing at 2:09; god bless sm and their stylists). Tao is a rapper, and a legitimate one because he has won rap competitions back home (Beijing 3rd Annual College Street Jam: Top Rap Award | HK Music Festival Free-Style Rap: 1st Place). Unfortunately, he stills gets lesser lines than Kris, who has no flow.

Tao likes his face a lot. This is extremely evident through his numerous selcas. Look, have more pictures! Even in disneyland, while walking around, Tao can be seen checking himself out, using his iPhone’s front camera as a makeshift mirror.

He is the captain of the OT12 EXO WE ARE ONE! ship. When asked to video a short message to the EXO-K members on the Yinyuetai interview, Tao teared up. He also cried in his birthday fanparty when the EXO-K members joined them with the cake. In an interview with CNTV, when asked what is something he wants to say to another member/EXO, he said that he used to have a phrase to himself “HZT Nothing in the world is impossible to me" and now he would like to change it to “EXO Nothing in the world is impossible to us".

Tao is also seemingly a pretty emotional kid. His past weibo messages have also hinted at a more reflective and vulnerable side to him. Samples:

安全感对我来讲是多奢侈的东西,  我太害怕失去,又太想得到所以才会总是处在恐惧当中。
A sense of security is such a luxury to me; I am too afraid of losing, yet I want to achieve, and that’s why I am always trapped in fear.

H、zt世界对我来说没有不可能! 都是背了太多的心愿,流星会跌的那么重!
H, zt Nothing in the world is impossible to me! I have carried too many hopes and dreams, and that’s why the meteor had fallen so heavily.

  • Tao claims that the first time he fought was in his second solo teaser

  • He learnt wushu for 11 years. No one knows why he quitted. He is shrouded in mystery.
  • Tao can often be seen wearing Kungfu Panda hats, earrings, as well as adorning his backpack with panda accessories given by fans. He has also adopted the habit of introducing himself as “Kungfu Panda Tao," even on korean broadcast shows like MBC’s Show Champion.

  • Tao is from the same hometown in China as f(x)’s Victoria, Qingdao, and has cited her as one of the closer people he knows in SM, and that she has imparted to him valuable advice.

  • Taozi used to keep an weibo in which he wrote cryptic QQ entries that he often deletes (his current Sina Weibo is void of entries, his Tencent Weibo has not been updated in months. One (or like fifty) such entries (世界对我来说没有不可能 = To me, nothing in this world is impossible) got so popular recently that even Tao has mentioned it on air. When the Sina MC asked EXO-M if they had any advice for other dreamers, Tao said, "世界对我来说没有不可能- everyone has heard me say this, but I really believe it." everyone go post this as your twitter/fb status

  • He learned Korean through watching the drama, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho. The only good thing this has led to is the fact that he called Xiumin oppa the first time they met

  • The members voted that he is the one that is easily moved to tears, and he himself admitted it, adding that he cries when he is touched, scared, sad etc. (cuddles taozi)

  • In the first ever interview where Taozi is asked about his ideal girl, he says that because he is young, he has not thought about it. Furthermore, much of his life had been dedicated to wushu. In the next interview however, he says that he has went home to think about it, and decided that his ideal type was someone who was pretty and had a nice body. (jfc he’s such a kid ;~;)

  • Tao injured his back in the midst of their debut showcases. However, in the first interview EXO-M had after the showcase, despite protests from the group members, fans and even host, he still did a flip

  • He has really nice arms.

  • Looks amazing in glasses.

“My role in EXO-M is to scream and screech" Xiu Min
Born Kim Minseok (김민석, 金珉硕) March 26th, 1990);

Xiumin, EXO’s hidden card, is actually the oldest member with an alleged voice of gold and Lu Han’s personal baozi (包子/steamed bun). Click here to see the progression of his Baozi nickname. While it’s understandable that Kris is the leader of EXO-M due to his language fluency, Xiumin’s placement in M is curious because he could very well have been the leader of K. Xiumin has stated that during their trainee days, he used to play soccer with Lu Han and their manager. He also mentioned that the hardest part about training wasn’t the dance or vocal lessons, but rather the fact that he had to restrict his food intake to diet. While Xiumin seems equally confused as Chen in the earlier M interviews, Xiumin reads the atmosphere well and is usually quick on the uptake, always trying to inject random Chinese phrases into random conversations. When asked in an interview what his role in M was, he jokingly replied that his job was to scream and screech the scream part of MAMA.

  • Gorgeous in a very subtle way

  • Says his favorite Chinese food is hotpot.

  • He's said his favourite Chinese artists are JJ Lin and Jay Chou. Good taste! And he can sing their songs!

  • While Minseok may have joined SM through the 2008 Everysing, he's an incredibly powerful dancer in his own right. There's a reason he's in all the dance breaks!

  • Is really sweet and always incredibly apologetic that his Chinese isn't good enough D: IT'S OKAY BAOZI WE STILL LOVE YOU

  • At the moment, he rooms with Tao. Which means he gets the pleasure of seeing Tao's body every single day, and he appreciates his ass.

  • It also seems like Minseok has lost the battle to keep Lu Han from calling him fat.... HE’S EVEN USING “THE MANY FACES OF BAOZI” AS HIS PERSONAL TALENT ON VARIETY SHOWS. HE'S NOT FAT THOUGH. D: AT ALL D: HE JUST HAS A ROUND FACE SHAPE. Minseok is tiny!

MAMA- The First Mini Single


You thought we weren’t going to talk about the music, didn’t you?

01 MAMA: [CN/KR]
我们要这样 不再看彼此的眼神吗
Do we want to be like this? Not meeting each other’s eyes?

不再对我讲话吗 不再说你爱我吗
Not speaking to me? Not saying you love me?

익명의 가면에 감췄던 살의 가득한 질시
끝을 봐도 배고픈 듯한
이젠 만족해?
If only we can make new relationships
Rather than broken hearts, having a joyful love altogether
If only we can all smile together

tonight, i recalled when you opened the curtains
and made a wish towards the starry sky
像童话故事里幸福结局 happily ever after
like the happy ending of a fairy tale, happily ever after

how long have i been running in place? the one standing at the new starting point is me
关卡一一都击破 放弃在我字典没录入过
breaking through these gates one by one, “giving up” was never written into my dictionary

To me, you’re brighter and more brilliant than any angel
如果有谁对你不义 我一定不允许
If someone acts unfairly to you, I definitely won’t allow it

The white moon radiates a dazzling light
切开Gray sky 颤抖在Late night
Splitting the grey sky, shuddering in the late night

像玩具 有没有在呼吸 会不会为了谁叹息
Like a toy, she doesn’t breathe, can she even sigh for anyone?
她的泪滴 怎么看不出来 有情绪
How come no feelings can be seen in her tears?
灰眼睛 像玻璃 猜不透埋藏纯真或神秘
Her grey eyes are like glass, I can’t tell if they hide sincerity or mystery

Roll Like a Buffalo: The most popular line in Two Moons, but was edited out on the official tracks by SM for reasons unbeknownst to fans. Thankfully, fandom has kept the true spirit of this meme alive.

Hipster!Chen: Once upon a time, exo-derp@tumblr spearheaded the fanclub for Chen. Exo-derp may be gone, but HIPPSTER CHEN CONTINUES TO LIVE IN OUR HEARTS.

GULL, I CAN’T ESPRAIN WHAT I FEEL: God Bless Chen and his inability to sing in either English nor Chinese without an accent.

A YOOO WHASSUP KREASE: made popularly single-handedly by Park Chanyeol and was later adopted by international fans everywhere. There exists an exclusive group of people in fandom who has gotten away with shouting AYO WATUP KREASE to Dui Zhang.

OT12- How do deal with feelings of inadequacy when your OTP is separated
SM seems to be the mother of all trolls, because they did a perfectly good job of marketing OT12 to us, only to rip K and M apart to promote in separate countries. When EXO-K and EXO-M do reunite, they do a fabulous job of bringing in the OT12 ship and pimping the group together on music shows (LOOK AT THE IMMENSE TENSION AS THEY DO THE MIRRORED DANCE OFF) and holding joint fanmeets. Also, K surprising M with a birthday cake at Tao’s birthday fanmeet? THEY ALSO SEND EACH OTHER PRIVATE VIDEO MESSAGES ON BIRTHDAYS.

When K and M unite, two moons align as one under the ~TREE OF LIFE, EXO introduces themselves with a simple “WE ARE ONE!” while we sob pitifully over the beauty that is OT12. Note: A lunar eclipse also took place while EXO performed as 12 in North America for the first time at SMTOWN LA 2012. A coincidence? I THINK NOT! Clearly, the heavens also ship OT12.

OT12 is so multifaceted. Look at everyone’s flawless Chinese introductions at SMTOWN TAIWAN.

But seriously, you should make your own OTP manifestas, and we’ll link them!

Lukai: The original Romeo and Juliette OTP, now a sinking ship
chiharu: Remember when we only had 2 teasers and EVERYONE shipped Lukai?
alaeaureae: The most aesthetically pleasing shounen-ai manga couple: tall dark and handsome with small pale and cute...the age reversal only makes it better.
exollent: TITANIC OTP

Hunhan: The New Romeo & Juliette/ Bubble Tea Couple
chiharu: This ship sailed itself and everyone is going down with it
alaeaureae: unfortunately real. so unfortunately real that even i have to admit it's real.
citypolaroids: it all started at an airport. they are quite literally inseparable. one does not simply cockblock hunhan . “everything is hunhan and nothing hurts.” caught red-handed. also, sehuna is a bossy lover. true love is when you act 4D as fuck in-sync with each other. they were attached at the hips during smtown la. they are very, very touchy-feely with each other. as much as lu han whores around with a bun and a unicorn, he will always come back to his lispy lover at the end of the day. oh young love. can you tell how much i ship them already or what.
feixing: i think everyone above has summed it up perfectly.

chiharu: The best of both worlds, tbqh.
exollent: god bless. that is all.

Taoris- The OTP that walked straight out of a yaoi manga
Tao develops a sort of... giggly schoolgirl aura when he talks about Kris. He sometimes come across as a little snarky, especially when he said how even though Kris cooked for them when they were ill, it isn’t any good food and usually just ramen. He looks up to Kris a lot it seems, and they have had multiple shopping dates. Taozi also smiles really adorably when Kris does something particularly ~cool~
feixing: this picture summarizes what taoris is basically. taozi seems to look up to kris a lot, and kris seems to have a soft spot for tao and his aegyo and just his general being. and they are so attractive together okay. contrasting hair colours. nice height. tao always clinging to duizhang like a panda. i mean, taozi manages to get kris to take pictures like this
alaeaureae: they are so fucking real that they are fucking. alternatively married. alternatively THEY ARE FUCKING. (no but in all seriousness duizhang dotes on tao like the baby panda he is and tao demands this doting)
exollent: kris be zitao’s sugar daddy
citypolaroids: kris is whipped when it comes to bb peach, but i’ll have to say that i only ship them in the gege/didi sense. sue me. :>

Sekai: Maknae Line
So sexual that it hurts
chiharu: Kai claims that he’s known Sehun for years, but just recently discovered how handsome Sehun had become. HOW DO YOU MISS SOMETHING LIKE THIS, KAI-GOON?? Kai tried to express his love for Sehun on his birthday, but Sehun just called him cheesey while Chanyeol died of second hand embarrassment.
citypolaroids: they may be the youngest, but they are, by all means, the sexiest otp. maknae likes his “hyung”’s sexy very, very much. there is so much sexual tension, it’s ridiculous. but they can be incredibly cute together too, like when they help fix each other’s hair and such.
feixing: the video that first lead me down this road. they can be so sexual yet so cute, it’s so annoying. and they are so attractive together.

Susoo: Parents Couple
chiharu: Kyungsoo cooks and cleans. Suho tries to lecture everyone while the kids roll their eyes
alaeaureae: wait there's a canon basis for them!? who cares they're cute together AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS
exollent: two words only: vanilla sex
citypolaroids: might as well be married in real life.

Baekyeol: Breakfast Couple
chiharu: Bacon and Egg(yeol). Roomates that abuse each other Currently one of the top 2 OTPs in fandom.
exollent: chanyeol is baekhyun’s bitch nuff said
citypolaroids: old married couple. basically what thea said above, chanyeol is baek’s bitch. they are so canon you must be mental to not acknowledge their existence.
feixing: i would just like to reiterate that yes chanyeol is baekhyun’s bitch. also, they like streamers i guess.

chiharu: Because Lu Han likes to shove Yixing out from behind pillars and they also have pillow talk
alaeaureae: because love is all about asking if your balls hurt i mean, if you're stupid. and shoving him out of hiding.
exollent: they have tea before they kiss and makeup.
citypolaroids: gay college roommates who bring out the gayest from each other.
feixing: the deer and the unicorn.

Krishan: Fic Couple
exollent: a couple that shops together is made 4 each other.
citypolaroids: the most secretive, elusive ship that will knock the wind out of you when a rare, once-in-a-blue-moon moment of them happens.
chiharu: The William and Kate of Kpop
icedevil0289: speaking of krishan apparently there was a post on weibo that was like kris with his gf predebut but it was actually luhan

Krisyeol: Tall/Model/Rapping Couple
chiharu: HEY YO WAT UP KREASE. Plus, Kris says he’s keeping an eye out on Chanyeol’s rapping.
alaeaureae: don't forget that chanyeol thinks kris is cool and tall-- oh wait, everyone does.
exollent: tall bros need to do a photoshoot together tbh
citypolaroids: chanyeol is kris’s secret crack provider. perfect relationship, really. but lbr, they are so fucking cute together.

Baektao: Beef Couple
Tao: Baekhyun’s birthday is soon! We understand each other because we’re both beef (bulgolgi)
Everyone at the fanmeet: …..
Baekhyun: He meant we’re both tauruses!
citypolaroids: bb peach likes to help out his hyung. and baekhyun is probably the only one that zitao can manhandle, but baekhyun still dotes on him.
feixing: LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT BAEKTAO. FIRSTLY, LOOK AT THIS. They stand next to each other on the OT12 lineup, so this allows for things like this. they have the same horoscope, and that was the first thing tao mentioned when asked about baekhyun in an interview.
exollent: baekhyun thinks tao is cute! …. everyone should find zitao cute lol

Kaisoo: Kyungsoo and his ridiculous roommate

Sukai: Love/Hate Couple/One-Sided Grampy Love
citypolaroids: grandpa suho sure tries to show bb jongin some love, but the latter will have none of it. jongin is severely allergic to leader’s touches. keep trying gramps, maybe one day jongin will realizes his mistake and give in to your affections. fighting!
chiharu: Suho tries so hard. So hard.
alaeaureae: admit it grandpa, you're too old for him ;D
exollent this ship sank before joonmyun could even beg lol

Huntao: Maknae Line v2
feixing: LET ME JUST LEAVE THIS HERE. Also, Tao mentioned during his birthday meeting that a member that he most wanted to have a meal with was Sehun. (MAKNAE LINES ARE THE BEST). Also, THIS.
exollent: ^^ what rachael said


So. If you’re new to EXO fandom-- welcome! It’s a great time to join. Queen Victoria knows EXO fandom is where the party is at, you see. If you’ve been in EXO fandom, we hope you stay for a little while longer. We are a fast growing but extremely fabulous group. So! Make lots of new friends to spazz with, to get jailed on twitter with, to hold you after a tremendously moving fic, or to randomly collaborate on a ridiculously biased pimp post with. We apologize for our horrible attempts to be funny and hope this will help familiarize you with EXO!

But just in case this PIMP post wasn’t comprehensive enough, here are some other central hubs in EXO fandom.

EXOCHOCOLATE; General EXO INFO/Discussions Livejournal Community
SNCJ; EXO fanfics on Livejournal
hunhan fics directory@tumblr
Code:EXO; EXO forum
Galaexo; EXO forum
Exocouture@tumblr; Dress like EXO
EXO directory @ tumblr
Ask EXO-K/m@tumblr
Selected-VIP; EXO lj fic recs
Book of Exodus; EXO lj fic recs
Yixing time line

The End?


We hope everyone can be chingus like these two cuties here


Our general reactions to EXO tbqh

Beware of OTP wars, though

Abusive Unicorn approves of this pimp post




And please reblog/tweet/ send this to all your friends! And link this to people who are trying to get into EXO fandom!

this is obviously seduction!!

Final Notes: This PIMP POST was a collaborative effort. Contributing writers include chiharu, exollent, citypolaroids, hotarumyst, feixing, and alaeaureae. Thank you Thea... For your ridiculously long essay on Magnae’s collarbones orz. YOU TOOK GOOD CARE OF SEHUNA, BB. Thank you Aeris for your undying dedication to Yixing and for making me love him; YOU ARE MY FAVORITE YIXING STAN! Thank you Rachael for your unprecedentedly comprehensive exposé on Taozi and his QQ weibo entries. Thank you Mysa for adopting Baekyeol and suffering through my nazi policing! WE ARE TOO COOL FOR TWITTER, SO WE SPAZZ ON THE GOOGLEDOC CHATBAR AT 3AM INSTEAD. Thank you Kelley, for loving D.Orchestra and for being the only sane one cry. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR SHARING MY ENTHUSIASM FOR EXO, and for helping out with this monster pimp post.... even though I nearly had a hernia when this turned into a competition to see who can write the most about their bias. /side eyes everyone.


If we’ve used a graphic of yours that you’d like for us to credit, just leave a comment and we’ll get right to it!
Tags: ★ pimp post
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